by momma » Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:31 am
Hey girl!
I had my first baby six days before I started my PhD program, and my second about 2 years later. I took a lighter class load that first quarter and prepared for preliminary exams. My second baby happened to arrive two weeks before Christmas, so I was able to take a couple weeks off before returning to school just because of the timing. At that point I was finished with my courses and just focused on research so that gave me some flexibility as well.
20/20 hindsight:
The school I attend has phenomenal resources for parents through their work-life wellness program, from childcare grants to breastfeeding rooms, check to see what programs your school offers asap.
Having a kiddo during the research phase was easier than during the coursework phase.
Don't let your decision to have kids in the program be swayed with the expectation of help from extended family. That was never an option for me, so I went into it knowing everything falls on me, and I think that mindset is helpful regardless. Assume food, bath time, laundry, doctors appointments, snafus, general homemaking, research and some kind of harmony with family life is on you - I went into it in beastmode, have a good attitude, and work my ass off day and night to set an example for my kids.
Also, no offense to the guys out there, guys are great, I have one and he is pretty legit, but take what they say with a grain of salt. Childbirth, breastfeeding, teething, potty training...I had a lot of male colleagues "filling me in", it was a sweet gesture but men are so dramatic with it all, they get the sniffles, think they have a cold and their entire world has to STOP, so just consider the source.
You're not going to watch tv for like three years. The only real housewives you'll know about, are like, real housewives.
Having kids in this program was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. For some people, this program is their life. Not for me. So I can have good days and can have horribly rotten days in the program, and at the end of both days I get to go home and rap out Llama Llama Red Pajama with my kids. That is the most important thing in my life, and no research I do will ever be as significant of a contribution as my role in their life.
Hey girl!
I had my first baby six days before I started my PhD program, and my second about 2 years later. I took a lighter class load that first quarter and prepared for preliminary exams. My second baby happened to arrive two weeks before Christmas, so I was able to take a couple weeks off before returning to school just because of the timing. At that point I was finished with my courses and just focused on research so that gave me some flexibility as well.
20/20 hindsight:
The school I attend has phenomenal resources for parents through their work-life wellness program, from childcare grants to breastfeeding rooms, check to see what programs your school offers asap.
Having a kiddo during the research phase was easier than during the coursework phase.
Don't let your decision to have kids in the program be swayed with the expectation of help from extended family. That was never an option for me, so I went into it knowing everything falls on me, and I think that mindset is helpful regardless. Assume food, bath time, laundry, doctors appointments, snafus, general homemaking, research and some kind of harmony with family life is on you - I went into it in beastmode, have a good attitude, and work my ass off day and night to set an example for my kids.
Also, no offense to the guys out there, guys are great, I have one and he is pretty legit, but take what they say with a grain of salt. Childbirth, breastfeeding, teething, potty training...I had a lot of male colleagues "filling me in", it was a sweet gesture but men are so dramatic with it all, they get the sniffles, think they have a cold and their entire world has to STOP, so just consider the source.
You're not going to watch tv for like three years. The only real housewives you'll know about, are like, real housewives.
Having kids in this program was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. For some people, this program is their life. Not for me. So I can have good days and can have horribly rotten days in the program, and at the end of both days I get to go home and rap out Llama Llama Red Pajama with my kids. That is the most important thing in my life, and no research I do will ever be as significant of a contribution as my role in their life.